Salvation
by Secoura
Summary: What if Hurley wasn't the last one to talk to Ben outside the church?


Kate was walking up to the church when she spotted the figure sitting on the bench outside. "Hey Ben. You going in?"

"No, I don't think so." He made eye contact with her, smiling gently as he spoke.

Her brows furrowed in a frown. "Why not?" She moved to sit on the bench beside him, waiting for an answer.

"Because I don't belong in there, Kate."

"Of course you do. Ben, what happened-"

"Wasn't my fault, I know. I heard that from Hugo so many times that I almost believed it." He looked at her with sad eyes. "I remember everything now." When she continued to look at him, puzzled, he continued. "Letting Sayid out of the cell, him shooting me, Jin finding me, Juliet trying to save me, you giving me your blood...you and James bringing me to Richard."

"You remember that?"

"Not my own memories, no. When I...remembered...I saw flashes of things that happened. Sort of like a movie. I guess memories are shared here because I think I was seeing things from your and others' points of view." His hands were folded in his lap and he stared at them as he continued. "I did remember you and Juliet though, when I was in the infirmary. I always remembered the two of you though it wasn't clear. That's why I did what I did to both of you. I'm sorry for the things that I did to you, Kate."

"We are the causes of our own suffering."

Ben blinked and looked over at her. "What?"

"It's one of the things Dharma was drilling into everybody. 'We are the causes of our own suffering.' I think they believed it was the key to saving the world." She flashed him a smile. "I think they were right."

"Really?" He tilted his head as though he was weighing the sincerity of her words. "I mean, I remember the mantra and all, I just never figured it was right."

"All the things that happened, the things you did to us, happened because of what _we_ did to _you_."

"No, Kate, it happened because I was selfish. I wanted you and Juliet for myself because you were the only people that I remembered caring about me. You were both mother figures and I wasn't going to let any man come between you and I. That's why I kept Juliet on the island and sent her lover on a suicide mission, and that's why I tormented James and then showed Jack the tape of the two of you."

"Is it also why you had me put on the dress and have breakfast with you?"

"I just...I wanted you to remember that you cared about me enough to save my life once."

"I remember now." She reached over and held his hand in her own. "I don't regret saving your life either. You saved Hugo and nearly died yourself when that tree came down. And if you hadn't gotten me to go back to the island by threatening to take Aaron away, I never would have seen Claire reunited with her son."

He took a deep breath and then managed a smile. "Thank you, Kate. It means a lot."

"You're still not coming in, are you?"

He shook his head. "No. No, I've found Danielle and Alex here and...I'm being selfish again, I know, but I want to stay here and enjoy being with them. I think I've finally got a glimpse of being happy and I'm not ready to move on from that yet."

"They haven't remembered yet, I take it?"

"No, and I'm sure that once they do...well, I suppose they can't kill me since I'm already dead."

"For what it's worth, I think it's brave of you to stay here instead of leaving with us before they do. Who knows, maybe the memories of what you did in that life will be tempered by the love you obviously feel for both of them here. And maybe your love here is what they need to be able to handle remembering."

"Somehow I doubt any amount of love I might show them here could make up for what I did."

"Hey, I forgive you. Maybe you could at least give Danielle and Alex the chance to forgive you."

She was still holding onto his hand when he nodded, putting his free hand over hers. "I suppose if you and John Locke can forgive me there might just be a chance."

Kate stood up and finally released his hand. "You're not going to sit out here all night, are you?"

"I don't know. I don't even know how long I've been sitting here, to tell you the truth. Once I remembered everything, I came here because something drew me here. I don't think I want to go home though."

"So maybe you should go see Danielle and Alex. Be with the people you love, Ben. That's what we're doing here, and that's what you should do."

"Maybe in a bit."

"You're not going to be as stubborn as Jack, are you?"

Ben chuckled at the comment. "I don't think anyone could be as stubborn as Jack."

"Be happy, Ben."

"I will Kate. You should go, be with Jack and your friends."

She started to walk away, then paused and turned back. "I'll see you again, Ben." She continued inside, leaving Ben to watch as the door opened and then closed once more.

"Dr. Linus?"

The voice caught him by surprise and he startled a bit, then turned around. "Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I was out for a walk and I thought I saw you sitting here so I decided to come over. What are _you_ doing here? Doesn't exactly seem like a place to hang out."

He smiled and stood up. "I was just...saying goodbye to someone."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's all right, Alex. I'm glad you came."

"Hey, your arm's not in the sling anymore."

"I decided to take it off for a bit." He rubbed it absently, thinking of how as soon as he remembered all the physical pain had vanished.

"My mom made a chocolate mousse and I know that she'd love it if I brought you home with me. What do you say? Please?"

"All right, Alex."

"Oh thank you so much, Dr. Linus! I can't tell you how happy Mom was about you having dinner with us."

"And I was very happy to have dinner with the two of you. Come on, let's get you home before she worries."

"You're the best, Dr. Linus. I wish you were my dad." She froze and put her hand over her mouth. "I am so sorry, I totally did not mean to say that out loud."

He chuckled. "It's all right. Believe me, I've had people wish me a far worse fate than being your father."

"Yeah, but still..."

"Let's go see your mother and have some of that chocolate mousse."


End file.
